(July 2010 Note: The name of this website used to be "The Benefits of Being a Single-Parent Without the Benefits". It's a phrase my friend, Jen came up with [she later told me after reading this back then] and that I wanted to dispel. After writing a blog about sunspots, I kept thinking that THAT name was so much easier and more appropriate; it covered more ground [I would find myself trying to put a single-parent spin on everything] and might appeal to a broader audience. My goal was to reach people having difficulties, namely, military families and other families who are separated by large distances and for many days, weeks, months, or even years at a time. But I soon realized that not every single topic I wrote about had to be specifically about parenting; we are more than just a mom or dad aren't we? Yes. So, if you are new to reading this site, I just wanted to clarify references I make in this particular piece {and maybe others early on}. Oh, and the font is only tiny in this first blog (I can't fix it); later blogs are much easier on the eyes.)
For at least two years or more I've had friends and family suggest that I start blogging as a suppliment to my daily writings. Of course they all knew me well and would always start with the caveat, "I know you're really not into computers and email, but..." And the minute the word blogging fell from their lips, I would stomp it right out at their feet. But then three nights ago, I watched "Julie & Julia". I picked it because I love Meryl Streep, Julia Child, and Amy Adams, too. Also, food and cooking have always been my forte. Perfect. (I really had no idea that the "Julie" half of the story was about a writer who had not been practicing her passion.) Anyway, the movie spoke to me; I had the inkling that I needed to pay attention to the blogging aspect of it, yet I argued with myself, Why? What would I write about everyday that other people would want to read?
The idea of starting a blog stayed with me all the next day and into the night.
But I don't want to blog! I told myself.
At 3am, I lay awake pondering my fortune at having such a generous and thoughtful friend in my soulsister, Jen. The kids and I had returned from visiting my husband on a 1:30am flight on December 31 and came home to find a meatloaf, a bunch of bananas, bread, strawberries, a cucumber, and milk (both kinds: soy and regular) to tide us over until I could get to the store. She specifically picked my kids' favorite foods and she knew that I try my best to be a vegan, or , at the very least a vegetarian, hence the soy milk. That, on top of the fact that she came to our house almost daily to get mail, watch over and feed my son's fish and lizard, shovel snow if necessary, AND she kept our Incredible Barking Beagle, Daisy the whole 10 days we were gone. AND her husband does not like animals of any kind, so kudos to him for agreeing to keep Daisy safe and happy for us, too. As I thought of Jen and her simple acts of kindness, it hit me: I could blog about the benefits of being a "single-parent without the benefits"!
I'm not sure which of us first coined the "single-parent w/o the benefits" phrase, but it's something Jen and I refer to at times because I'm it. I'm the mom, the dad, the hide-and-go-seek player, the tickle-monster, the homework helper, the breakfast, dinner, and lunch-maker, the dish-doer, the polly-pockets player, you get the idea. I was a single-mom years ago when my son was 3; I was working and putting myself through nursing school, yet this choice, what my husband and I are doing now, has been much more difficult to work through, by far.
But that's not what this blog is about. We all know how wearisome it can be to be living apart from the person you love and raising your kids (who themselves are deeply affected by having their dad live far, far away...) mostly alone, to boot. This blog is about finding the bright spots in daily living. Like Jen and her meatloaf. Like friends who will care for your dog, even when one of them "can't stand all the hair" (and let's be honest, Beagles really don't shed very much, but to him it's enough to drive him crazy if it gets on his work suit). Like a gracious mom who finagles her work schedule so that she can be available and awake at 2am to pick you and your kids up from the airport.
Today is January 4, 2010--exactly one year after my husband, Joel, left on a plane at 5am marking the start of his new job and our new and complicated adventure that we call our life together. We have both grown leaps and bounds since he left and isn't that what life is all about?
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