In the Gregory David Roberts novel, Shantaram, one of the characters, Karla, says, "If fate doesn't make you laugh, then you just don't get the joke." I love that line. Maybe partly because I can be so slow at getting the jokes that Nate and Joel get right away and then it turns into a laugh-fest at me. I laugh, too. I do get the jokes; just not as quickly as everyone else--When I do, I think it's as funny as anyone that my comprehension could be so dilatory, and we end up laughing all the more. So when crazy things happen, especially in groupings, I look for Fate's punchline and often I am quicker than most to get it, hence my appreciation for Karla's line.
I mentioned last week that my identity was stolen--actually, it was just one credit card that an international fraud ring got hold of, posing as me online in London, Berlin, D.C....they racked up about $4000 in charges within a few days. But the funny thing was that my identity had been stolen about 10 years ago. As I've mentioned in the first blog, I am not at all technically savvy; I'm not online often (well, when I'm researching for a writing project or something...I am),I do some online bill paying, but nothing is saved to the computer or anything like that. And ten years ago I had an email account that I never checked and that was it. So it's just funny that someone got me twice in ten years.
The first one, I never knew about until the bill collectors tracked me down a year later accusing me of hiding out. The person who opened the account lived in Ohio, gave a fake Ohio address and phone, and they knew my mom's maiden name. The charges added up to about $1000 and the card was never used after two large purchases, but it took me almost a year to get it resolved. Almost no one believed me and when I reached someone who did believe me, they had no idea what to do about it. It just wasn't as common back then. It was a constant game of phone calls, explaining my story over and over, most often on prejudiced ears (most made it perfectly clear that they thought I was lying...), two different people on two different occasions actually hung up on me midsentence and I promise you that I never raised my voice and I never used harsh words. I knew that each new person I spoke to had nothing to do with the person I had spoken to before. But for some reason, most of them seemed to form an immediate opinion about me often referring to me as "people like you". It was crazy. That's why it took nearly a year, because sometimes I needed to take a week off from the negativity coming at me through the phone with each call I made. Also, I was sent on wild goose chases by the few that tried to help me by guessing at what I should do (sending me to my own city police, who directed me to the Cleavland, Ohio police, who directed me right back to the credit card company...).
This time, among the charges were a trip to Italy, a notebook computer, backpacking gear, and $300 in music downloads. I said, "They're buying things that I want to buy for myself!...I'm Monica! I'm Monamana!" (that Friends episode...) And people do mispronounce "Meinema (say: MINE-eh-mah)" as "MoNAMana"! I've been planning to go to Italy for years now, but my goal was by 2010 ("italy2010" was one of my passwords to get to patient information on the hospital computers years ago)...Nate, Jen, and I were supposed to go...but then Joel lost his job, moved to AZ...so it will wait at least another year. Also, the day before I'd found out about the charges, I told myself that I needed to get my own laptop since my computer is going so slowly, it's old...and this is Jen's laptop I'm using until she needs it again in the summer when she has to give her school laptop back (she's a teacher).
And THEN: the very next day after I found out about the fraud charges and said I was Monamana/Monica, Nate turned on that episode of Friends. It's been at least a year or two since the last time Nate and I watched Friends and it's been months since we watched any TV show together (he was always swimming--oh, and he beat his goal of 26 seconds for the 50-Free, he gets 25's regularly--he's got that passion for it now), but there it was, just starting, the one where Monica becomes Monamana and takes dance lessons and tries out for a Broadway play with the girl who stole her identity.
So I'm laughing. And there's more, too much to tell. This is already so choppy, I know. Maybe I'll fix it later. Well, you know about my debit/credit card being declined...that's resolved, too (our bank wasn't used to us using it so much and in two different states...). As of last night my phone went out. Today I was online "chatting" with a tech to try to fix it for an hour and a half. I was typing, running back to the computer room to troubleshoot for/with JOHN--checking wires, unplugging, plugging, finding the right port, etc. and making dinner for Grace. I'm coo-coo for cocoa puffs! It's still not fixed. It will be at least two days. Please, if you are trying to call me, don't leave a message because I can't get to them.
My point and the reason I am laughing is because I know it's not just funny or weird that this has happened. Twice. Ten years ago my life was going through an overhaul. I was separated from my husband, Donnie. I was completely changing my career path by attending nursing school. I was getting a new identity (but fighting it back then; I fought with myself a lot in those days, which is partly why the process to get it straighened out was so rocky, right?).
This time, I'm flowing with the changes. JOHN said I was "easy to work with". I got a good laugh out of that since, to me, none of it seemed easy...I was already laughing at myself because it's like a maze of wires back there, I know nothing about any of it... anyway, when he typed that, I laughed more. Thanks again wherever you are, JOHN.
I've been in the process of transformation for two and a half years--since the day I decided to be a writer in August of 2007. I am looking at this as a sign of culmination. This is the year I will get an agent and finally be published and paid for the work I've been doing. I just know it. Right when I found out from Saks Fifth Avenue security that someone from London was trying to use my name and Master Card to by a pair of $532 Gucci loafers,(I guess because I'd never shopped at Saks in my life is what tipped them off--and they were the first to notify me, not my card company, thanks Saks security--), I was stunned more at the fact that this was the second time in ten years that someone stole my identity. And I knew that I had to pay attention. An hour later, after speaking to someone from the credit card company, who told me about the trip to Italy, the notebook computer... I knew. This will be a pivotal year. I'm on my way to being able to afford a trip to Italy, regular hiking trips, an iPod or MP3 player, or something like that (I LOVE music and I'm still using a boom box and CDs--our stereo is out, too)and my very own notebook computer.
We must remember to laugh. Even when things seem to be going wrong--there's a reason. Just have faith and laugh and enjoy the growth.
No comments:
Post a Comment